Whether you were married for a twenty years or dating for six years, long-term relationships typically consist of sharing several things together such as your apartment, leather couches, toothbrushes and even monthly payments on cars or rent. Just because your significant other won’t be around any more doesn’t mean your bills will go away too. Even though this might be a hard time for you, or maybe it’s an overdue relief for freedom, it’s time to cut the financial ties with your ex and separate your financial responsibilities.
Talking to your ex might be out of the question right now, so take out the emotion in a letter or email. Once you’re done yelling and whining, throw that paper away or delete that text and start again without your emotions attached. Write down everything you both owed or paid for together. Start separating these items and bills using your best judgment and what would be fair to the relationship (and each others income).
Feel free to use the financial breakup letter here:
Even though our relationship has ended we still need to take responsibility for our monthly payments, maintaing good credit for our new futures apart. Please note, this is just as hard on me as it is on you, but we need to what’s best for our finances. I have created a list of what we owe and how we can split costs on items we purchased together, as well as gathered information on what we need to do to break up the titles on our car and home.
Now, make a list of everything you owned together (couches, desks, dining room table & chairs, patio furniture, household supplies, kitchen supplies, beds & bedding, etc.) Next to each item include the cost and who should get what, be fair to you and your financial situations.
Of course there might be a good chance you don’t want anything back, so give the option for your ex to buy back each of your items. If you both want a fresh start then suggest having a yard sale and split the profit.
As for splitting apart your title and car loans, Womans Divorce suggests you too are responsible for the entire loan amount. You should reclaim the automobile or at the very least, have him purchase it from you. In the latter, you then can pay off the loan in your name and he would then own the vehicle outright. If he does not cooperate, you can either keep paying for his car (which I can only assume you don’t want to do) or you can get help from law enforcement in reclaiming the vehicle from him. If you don’t need or want the car, you can then sell it on your own or to a dealer. The dealer however, will not pay you as much as you could get by selling it on your own.
If you owned the home together, Bankrate.com offers advice and suggestions on what to do next.
Include a time and place to meet to further discuss and go over these options.
Thank you for cooperating and understanding this is a hard time for both of us, I hope we can work together, making a smooth transition with our finances.
Phew! Now that it’s all over and your financial past is officially behind you, it’s time to think about opening your own savings account and investment opportunities to prepare for your financial future.
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